"Not bad... Not bad." --

(put your comment here)

Quote:

"Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

--Charles Lamb

Errata

Or, if you prefer: miscellany.

Hey, look, it's Ed

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Sometimes when something cool happens, you get pictures (like my pre-Spring-Break party on a Wednesday night), and sometimes you don't (like when your girlfriend goes streaking around Channing Circle. "Woo! Boobs!")... Anyways, I don't know what I was getting at, but here's a picture that Ed insisted I post on the site:

(Ed, Dasha, Michelle)

Stapler Guy = Classic

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Milton, the arsonist, and stapler-phile, who works pro bono in Office Space, is now, officially, a classic character. When Angie sent me the wave file of him saying, "Excuse me. Yeah, uh, I believe you have my stapler," it reminded me that the guy is still funny, and always will be. Even though the movie came out in 1999, Milton's violent antisocial antics and quiet meekness are still funny today. You might also recognize Stephen Root, the actor who played Milton, from News Radio, in which he played an even cooler character, Jimmy James. Hats off to you, Milton.

Angie's a Pimp

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No, seriously, Angie's a pimp.

No, I'm not drunk.

She responded to my splash-page insult by making her splash page hugely more dynamic, and changing lots of shit around on her site. It's pretty fucking pimp. You should visit.

No, I'm not drunk.

Mind Control

You might have heard of this from twelve-year-olds on message boards under the heading:

"All your base are belong to us!
All your base are belong to us!
All your base are belong to us!
All your base are belong to us!
All your base are belong to us!
All your base are belong to us!
All your base are belong to us!"

--Some Asswipe

Dance Theory

This class deals with why girls like dancing so much, and why guys generally dislike dancing altogether. Basically, dancing is one of the only activities in which girls can shake their hips and emulate sex with guys, yet not be thought of as a whore or get pregnant. Guys do, however, have activites in which they can show off - such as sports. This fact alone does not explain why guys do not like dancing. Guys do not like dancing because they look like big dumbasses when they dance. The only two ways guys will enjoy dancing is if a girl is getting freaky-deaky or they are gay.

-Professor K.T.Feldkamp

In Response

I found this in the rants today, and I should take the time to clarify something because I'm suddenly at the risk of being beaten senseless by a gang of homophobes.

Julian writes:

cody you sexy bastard i wanna taste your... hm! visit me at http://www.julianclar.de and I tell ya ;-) hugs + kisses from stuttgart / germany

Obviously, Julian didn't take the time to peruse my huge collection of heterosexual porno. Now, why can't Raylene or Jenna Jameson leave a message like that?

On that note, I'd like to invite any woman who thinks I am sexy for some strange reason to email me, becuase I am now single... Yes, when I say 'woman' I mean female born and raised.

Giant Leap for Frivolity

You, too, can own your very own domain name for less than a dollar a day. That's less the cost of supporting a starving Ethiopian child. Be sure to check the ticker on the bottom of this site to find out how many miles I'm getting for my $35.

Ron Jeremy says:

I'm losing millions a day to porn downloads from ftp.codythefreak.net (login: Guest, password: email address)... Oh, dollars? I thought you said sperm... I suppose I'm losing millions of dollars in video sales, too.